Today my throat was sore, I had a cough and I had to teach. I was up at 4.30am, as usual on a school day and walked the dog and showered. Made breakfast for everyone and left for work. Made myself a cup of coffee and some water to make sure I didn't snack because I am thirsty, and got stuck in to teaching.
However, about 11am I hit a wall. Fighting the infection took over and my energy started to sap. I had a bit of a failure and had two chocolates down in the staff room, but that's where it ended. For the rest of the day I have been good, knackered, but good. Nevertheless, the more I think about it, the more I realise I didn't fail today. I had two chocolates...that's ok! I'm ok with eating two chocolates because that is all I had. I am not going to beat myself up over a little bit of chocolate, the same as I am not going to beat myself up if I have a cheeky single whisky every once in a while...they're just treats. I am allowed a treat.
The way I figure it is my body and my mind are exhausted. Giving up alcohol (mainly) and crisps (mainly) and giving up chocolate (mainly) is also adding to the inability of my mind to cope at times. It's hard and it takes its toll trying to ensure that you don't eat rubbish or drink excessively all the time, constantly being on guard. You have to give yourself that treat, something to look forward to. As long as I stay on track, don't eat excessively, still eat healthily and exercise, there is no harm.
Obviously if I was addicted to something I would not start eating or drinking the substance I was addicted to as a treat, that's totally different and something I would not advocate. But I digress.
Anyway, the exhaustion made my resistance to temptation harder but, instead of eating loads more chocolates, I reread some of my blogs, talked to my friends at school and revisited the NHS weight loss website and posted, with some great feedback and encouragement. It reminded me that this journey isn't always going to be smooth sailing, I am going to be tired and I will sometimes nick a treat or two that I shouldn't, but with the support network I am building through these blogs, the NHS website and other websites such as healthline.com I am sticking with it and determined to continue my journey of becoming a healthier, happier, slimmer me.
These next few days will be a trial, I think, as the tiredness increases and my cold runs me down that little bit more...but I will survive! I have to remember that this is a journey, a campaign with victories and losses and allies and enemies. If you hit that wall, remember that there are lots of people and places and forums to help you to keep going.
Thanks you for reading.
Stay strong.
Sean
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