It sometimes seems never ending, the constant cycle of marking and planning and cooking and cleaning: so finding the energy to carry on can sometimes be exhausting in itself. I wondered today whether I am getting enough energy with the calories I'm consuming and whether or not I can continue in this way without damaging myself or depleting my already lowering muscle mass.This is why I have been, for the last two days, trying to ensure that I am eating over 1200 calories a day, whilst still trying to ensure that the food I actually eat is healthy and that junk food is only a treat and an occasional one at that.
There were two things going against me today. Firstly, I left my lunch at home: a cardinal sin in terms of ensuring that I don't have cravings (that I am now beginning to feel) and secondly it is the end of the week - something that always makes want to eat the junk food, as it is the end of the week and you are always mentally and physically tired at this point. Some people will hopefully be looking forward to this weekend...but not me. Me, I'll be marking books pretty much the entire weekend to try and catch up. So much for rest.
However, the mental drain that you have knowing that you have a weekend of work ahead of you creates an even greater craving for food. Your mind is so busy trying to stay awake, sometimes having the will to not eat almost disappears and this is something you have to watch for and guard against in my profession...and a lot of others also.
Still, I did not eat junk; I did not go to the canteen and have chips, nor did I go and have a sneaky sausage roll or steak bake at break time. Instead I bought myself an apple and an orange for breakfast and a wholemeal chicken sandwich for lunch. I was very proud of myself. The smell of the chips cooking WAS tempting...but I resisted.
I have also walked 14-495 steps, so with another walk of the dog in the cards later on, I can add another 3000 steps to my daily step count too.
The point I think I am making to myself is that my goal is getting nearer. Whether my weight has gained or lost or stayed the same, I feel healthier...and that was my ultimate ambition. Once I have done that, then I may concentrate on having another look at weight loss as something to aim for. At the minute, it's a by-product of a healthier lifestyle I am trying to live.
So here is to tomorrow...my weigh in day! I am pretty confident that I will have lost weight this week so I am excited for tomorrow morning. And after this weekend of marking, the workload will be considerably less...fir at least a few days. Here is to the weekend!
Thanks for reading.
Stay strong. Stay honest.
Sean.
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