Tomorrow is back to work day. Not officially: it's a teacher day. There will be no students in tomorrow, but plenty of other things to keep me occupied and potentially raise my stress levels. We will be told of how important GCSE results are and pressure will be piled on. We will be told of new changes to multiple things and, again, pressure will be piled on. There is a lot to do in a very short space of time from this point on and pressure will be there.
However, I am determined that, this time, I will not let the anxiety, pressure and exhaustion rule my life. My first post went over all the things that will hinder my progress and lots of them will be waiting for me next week as the students return and late nights and early days take their toll. Mostly I will have to watch for my motivation deflating or tiredness making me want to not go for the run or walk or tempting me with takeaway. But I know them, I've been there and bought the T-shirt.
There will be the times when I have to sit at the table and mark and mark and mark. The boredom will set in and I'll fancy that little snack whilst I am marking...I won't let those little voices persuade me, though. Today has been a relatively easy day but the anxiety of first day back is growing and I know I will have to watch for it tonight, even before I have gone back.
So what now? It's simple really. I am not giving up. There will be all the things talked about previously and possibly more, but there is nothing that I can't beat, that I can't look in the eye and stare down. I am my own motivation and my wife and children are the ones who will benefit from having me around for a lot longer than they will if I don't stick to it, pressure, anxiety or not.
Plus it'll be nice to be able to fit into clothes that don't, for once, bulge.
So whether it's one pound a week or two ounces lost, as long as I am eating healthier and giving my body a chance to be as fit and healthy as it can be, I'll be winning. Tomorrow also marks the day I start running again, knowing how fat and unfit I am, I will not be going all out. I'm 46, not 16 - so I have to listen to my body and how it is holding up adjusting my pace and time accordingly. But I will do it because I have to do it.
I will succeed. I have to understand that most of the year will be this stressful...so I can't give up because of that or I'll always end up giving up at the first sign of stress. This is a time to stand up and be counted. Callous my mind. Stay Strong!
Good luck with your journey.
Thank you for reading.
Sean
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