Since this started I have always been upbeat and positive. It's my nature. The only downside to always seeing the good and positive from everything is that, on occasion, you have a downer. Today is a down day.
I've tried hard to keep smiling and to carry on with my motivation, but nothing I do seems to be picking me up. The good thing is, is that I know I will be fine tomorrow and be back to my normal, positive, motivated self.
It's hard at these times to not stuff my face full of food and drink. I look in the mirror and can't see any changes and often, like today, see myself as being fatter than I actually am, fatter than I was when I started this process. Deep down I know that it's not true, but I still can't shake the depression I feel when I see myself in the mirror.
I suppose everyone goes through these stages of feeling like horse manure and everything seems to point to to there being no point in trying to lose weight as I'll always be fat no matter what I do. I know it's wrong and I've lost 9lbs so far in 6 weeks, which is good, but on days like this no amount of reality will get in the way of the self-loathing.
So I am going to end it here. I am going to go to sleep so that I can wake up and be motivated again and back to being positive. I know I'll be fine, I always am in the end, but the fewer number of these days I have, the better!
Thanks for reading.
Stay strong. Stay honest.
Sean.
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