Today I went about my normal routine of home schooling, stretches, exercising and tried to figure out when I ate rubbish. I wanted to see if I started eating things I shouldn't when I was tired or when I was hungry...or even both?
Having had breakfast as normal, then going to work on home learning, I had cups of tea throughout the day, sometimes water and I seemed to be fine. I wasn't hungry yet after my first online meeting had finished and I had marked all their work, with ten minutes to spare before I started my next live lesson I found myself wandering around the house looking for something to eat. I hadn't realised it at the time and I had some toast and a cup of tea.
It was only after I had finished for the day and started doing exactly the same thing that I started to reflect on what I was doing. Was it screen fatigue that was making my willpower weaker, or was it the fact that I was finished working and I was now bored? Did I want to do something that didn't require my brain? Was it being stuck in the house knowing that I had been in front of a screen from 9am until about 3.45pm and THEN knowing I couldn't go out or go anywhere or see anyone?
To be honest, I don't really know yet. It could be any one of those things or even all of them as a combination, a perfect storm of events that use up my willpower and motivation.
I do know that I am exhausted mentally by the time I get off the screen and this doesn't help in any way, but I also know that there are plenty of things that I can do instead of eating. So is it, then, me giving me a treat for sitting at a desk in front of a screen? Again, I don't know but it is certainly something I want to find out.
Hopefully tomorrow will be different, because I won't be in front of a screen at all tomorrow, we are going for a long walk in the city centre around the backstreets. A good, ong city walk with my camera and my wife with me...there is nothing better.
In terms of eating, there has been no takeaway today, but there has been toast and crisps, so lots of carbs which, let's face it, I could do with not eating. I need to use my fat as fuel, not carbs. But that is for another time; for now, I must try and concentrate on figuring out my triggers and reducing them so that my exercising and healthy eating work together to get me to a better me.
So here is to tomorrow, to long walks and to understanding yourself.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.
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