Only a short blog, as I said the other day.
As I completely forgot to write a blog yesterday, mainly down to the fact that I fell asleep at my desk and woke up in the small hours of the morning, I've decided that today is yesterday, and that tomorrow is today and that will carry on forwards.
One of the things that I have found over this last week, another terrible week in terms of the way I am eating, is that I am absolutely fine during the first part of the day, the part where I am still reasonably awake and full of energy. It is only towards the end of the day, from about 4pm onwards, that my willpower drains of everything and I start to think about eating rubbish.
Obviously tiredness isn't the only reason. Having been in the house pretty much for an age, boredom and having nothing to do other than stare at a screen is also making a mockery of my motivation. I sometimes wander around the house after 3pm, glad to be away from the computer, wanting to do something but my mind wanting to simply go to sleep. Screen fatigue is certainly something I never thought I would have to deal with, but I am and in a big way.
So boredom and tiredness is killing my healthy eating motivation and I am constantly hunting for something to eat. It obviously doesn't help that there is rubbish food in the house, but I have enough control over myself to, or so I thought, control what I eat, what actually goes into my mind.
I have found, over the last two weeks, that I have far less control than I thought I did.
Over the next few days I have to think about this and really make a plan about how I am going to take this on and defeat it...or at least work beside it so that, if I do continue to walk around the house hunting for food during the day, that the stuff I do eat is going to help me get healthier rather than fatter.
On the plus side, because I haven't given myself the option of quitting exercise (as I have with eating healthily) I continue to exercise and stretch in the mornings when I get up...so I am much fitter than I was a few weeks ago. I just have to find a way to do the same thing with my eating. Fair enough, it doesn't help that my wife is equally tired and so we give in to each other's plea for rubbish food, but equally we need to stop because it will eventually kill me.
And I can't do that to the people I love. So 3 days to figure out what I am going to do and come up with a plan. Battles may have been lost over the last few days, but the war is still there to win.
Here's to victory.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.