
I am beginning to wonder whether I have been honest with myself today? Whether I am being honest with myself now. I have had a beer and a beef and onion pie with some chips from the chip shop. I know this and I am being honest with you and me. The part of me that wonders whether I am being honest is that I keep telling myself that what I did isn't that bad. I ordered a small bag of chips (between myself and my wife) and I have had only half the bottle of beer, as I have also shared that with the wife. So am I not being honest when, although I have had pie, chips and a beer, I tell myself that I have done far better than I would normally do - which is a large chips (and keep eating until I'm stuffed), a large beer all to myself, with three rounds of bread and normally a small kebab?
Am I being honest with myself? I think I am.
I know that chips, pie and beer aren't great. They are full of fat, calories and not the good fat but, often, trans fats, which are extremely harmful to your insides. I also know that most of my fat is on my belly, and this is also not good. It is almost as if I can look in the mirror and see that what I am doing is working and so I think that I can slack off a little. But I can't.
To do so would be doing exactly the same as I have done on numerous occasions, and watch the weight slide straight back on again after working hard to get rid of it in the first place. The good thing is that, now I've been doing this for a month - pretty much - it's becoming easier to not eat as much (which is what I have done today) and be fine with it. My body is learning to cope with a limited amount of calories and enjoying the good calories from fruit, seeded wholemeal bread, yoghurt, vegetables etc; it is also loving the exercise: walking and now the Couch to 5K I started Tuesday.
The thing is, I am someone who believes that, if you always deprive yourself of things, your craving of them is only ever going to increase and, when you go back to maintaining you will eat the bad stuff more than normal because you can. I prefer to eat anything in moderation, but making sure that things that are bad for me are almost completely cut out...hence why I have given up most takeaways. Mostly. And generally, knowing that I can eat whatever I want makes it easier to eat the right foods...I know, weird eh?
I am not going to deny myself food, some rubbish is ok I think (not really but moderation is key) and I am now able to do the one thing, I think, that is going to help me to lose weight and maintain a healthier lifestyle...regulate myself. The honesty is paying dividends on that front and as long as I keep being honest and having the open dialogue with myself, I feel that things will continue to look up.
I know that I can see a difference now in the size of my stomach. I know that I have more energy than I have had in a long time. I know I am feeling more alert mentally. I know I am exercising more than I have done in a long time. And all this in a month of trying my best (mostly) to be healthy and live a healthier lifestyle. I think it's working. I think it will continue to work. We'll certainly see how well it's been working tomorrow with my Saturday weigh in! Here is to looking forward to the future.
Stay strong. Stay honest.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.
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