A short one today because I am writing this in the middle of the day and I may find myself drawn to some other aspect of my life that demands a certain part of my time. Life seems to play that game with you sometimes, you set aside certain parts of your day to do the things that you want to do and, whether for good or bad, little jobs and sidelines take you away from the things you were going to participate in.
Walking 17,000 steps a day eats in to that time that you want to spend doing the things you planned to do, the things that you wanted to make time for. I do absolutely love it and getting out is certainly helping to maintain some semblance of sanity in this rather insane time that we find ourselves living through, but knowing that, at certain parts of the day, you are going to have to drop everything and go for a walk is both liberating and restricting. Often I find myself wondering whether to go for a walk early and get the majority off the steps out the way early, or whether to work on them gradually throughout the day. Obviously things never work out that cleanly and, often the you lest expect it, something pops up to disrupt the plans you made.
I suppose that is the same as trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Today has been a struggle and I have found ,myself wanting to eat far more than I normally do. There are times when I wonder if the 17,000 steps a day is eating into far too much of my energy reserves and that I should, instead of maintaining my 1680 calories a day, up them a little to take into account the amount of exercising I am doing throughout the week.
When I started this journey on January 1st, I didn't know whether I would still be here 6 months in. I had always given up by now and sat back on my road of good intentions that led precisely nowhere. And it is that determination that is keeping me going, even during these days of 'I really can't be arsed with this' and 'I just want to sit down and go to sleep' - but these are mantras that I am no longer going to listen to or speak. Nothing is going to stop me. So I have talked to myself about my feelings of hunger and cravings, I have communicated with my wife how I feel and she continues to support me through everything.
However, then there are the parts of me that keep warning me to listen to my body and to slow down or speed up depending on the things that I do. I know I have no energy today, so I have to reflect on that and start to think why? I believe that it was because I had very little sleep last night, so my energy levels aren't great. But then I am also conscious of the fact that I have had less sleep and still felt energised. Maybe I also need to buck on my mental fatigue also, relaxing and not thinking of the work I have to do. Or maybe do more work so that I am not as stressed as I am now and so therefore help me to relax? I may try some reading and keep my mind occupied so that my energy levels are not the only thing I think of.
So now I will have to try and remedy the energy loss, either through better food choices, sleeping better or trying out different things that will help my mental faculties and stop me from overthinking things. We'll see where it goes...shal we.
Until tomorrow, stay safe and stay strong.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.
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