So having had a day off, walked a lot, lost a lot of weight and generally felt much better about myself, I am definitely looking forward to tomorrow. A new week and a new start.
Having had a few bad weeks and generally and also feeling weak and unmotivated, to get back to this position is amazing. To look forward to each day and the challenges I will face, to meet my calorie and exercise targets, to be as healthy as I can be - both physically and mentally - is such a privilege that sometimes I have taken for granted. Running my first 5k in over two years and also managing a lot of steps each day has also boosted my confidence and also my energy levels (although some of my muscles are a little sore).
As well as exercising, the Leicester lockdown will hopefully soon be coming to an end and then it'll be time to go out and perhaps see some friends for the first time in months. There is also work to be completed, action plans written, books read and lots of other little things that makes a day fun and fulfilling all in one go. Obviously trying to find time to fit everything in is a stalling block at times and often, although the mind and body are willing, the time constraints forbid me to do all the things I want to in a day...but then there is always tomorrow.
I must admit that I am looking forward to the amount of nice weather we are apparently expecting over the next few weeks, but also a little apprehensive that this will stop me exercising as much as I normally do. Perhaps I simply need to make sure that I am hydrating as much as I need to in order to maintain that momentum. However, I also know that trying to exercise in heat is much harder than exercising on a cool day. I sweat a lot at the best of times, so I am sure that you can imagine what amount of moisture I would lose on a hot day. Additionally, sweat always seems to find its way into my eyes and that stuff stings!
These are exciting times for someone like myself who has had all the motivation that had disappeared, suddenly reappear in multiple aspects of his life. I find myself itching to go and run, to read the essays I have on the side ready to link to the literacy curriculum I am writing, the fiction I want to read, the health websites and books and magazines that I am devouring. I almost feel like I know what it's like to have ADHD, I don't want to stop, I can't sit still, I keep moving (don't worry, I am. As much as I want to move the memory of my burn out is still VERY fresh in my mind.).
What will the future bring me then, if the motivation I feel now continues through into the weeks and months ahead of me? Certainly it will make me slimmer, more aware of my health, more energised and certainly a lot happier. As much as I have accomplished, I am still not happy with the way I am and my body shape and I am hoping that the moons shift quicker than they are once I start my resistance training also. My two part goal is to lose the weight first and then to tone the muscles so I can really see the difference I have made to myself. My wife says she can see a big difference in how I looked before to now and that I am a lot slimmer...but I don't see it and, until I can, I will keep being driven and motivated to lose the weight.
Here, then, is to the next few weeks - pushing and grinding and enjoying and working to get to my next goal of being under 12 stones. I have a vision of where I want to be and what I want to look like, so I am going to fight to reach that vision. Here's to tomorrow, here's to the future me!
Until tomorrow, stay strong and stay safe.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.
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