It's a tricky situation coming back to eating right and exercising after you have been off for quite a while. It's even more tricky when you know you need to ease back into things, that you know you can't charge in like a bull in a China shop but you really want to hit it hard, get back from where you left off. Slowing down because you know that, as much as your willpower is there, your strength, physically, is still in a tenuous state and going back to hard or too quickly will mean another lengthy lay off and that is something you can't afford.
Taking things easy is especially hard when your mind is back to being motivated and driven and really pushing you to go forwards. It's almost like an addiction, a feeling like having quit smoking, you really want a cigarette but you know you can't and you have to take every day one step at a time.
Today I have walked 22,591 steps but not exercised. I felt weak during the second half of my walk and that made me realise that pushing myself physically isn't something I should be doing at the moment. So walking is fine, doing 17,000 steps is fine but maybe I shouldn't be pushing it much beyond that at the moment. My eating still isn't back to what it was, but I'm returning slowly and I will fully be back on my eating properly and watching my calories from Sunday.
I've given up looking at my weight foe the moment because I want to be fully back on it before I look at where I am heading. If I look too soon, I'll want to lose more than I should and push myself too hard again and I don't want to do that. Because of the lockdpwn in Leicester, my holidays (apart from home learning) has started. There is no more physically going in to school. I just have to want and see what the results are going to be and hope my daughter's grades are a fair reflection of what she was heading for.
On top of that, I also spent the day cleaning more of the house and tidying up a few things. I am also keeping my mind occupied by reading a lot and doing some home learning as next year I am starting my masters in education, so that'll be 3 years of hard work. I am also now part of the research team at my school, so I'll have to start researching and implementing my own educational research. Its an exciting prospect and something I am looking forward to doing.
So that is where I am at the moment...itching to get back now but holding back because I know i have to listen to my body. I've always been a sporty person, so being sidelined is hard, but I also know that it is essential that I do for my long term health.
And so, until tomorrow - where I'll be one step closer to being back (starting with an 8 mile walk tomorrow morning) - stay strong and stay focused and stay with it no matter what.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.
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