I want to start my blog today by thanking everyone who has been absolutely amazing and shown a huge amount of support on healthunlocked.com, It has been extremely humbling and very emotional reading all the posts of encouragement. I really feel part of a privileged group and I would certainly recommend the website to anyone wanting to lose weight or to become healthier. There hasn't been a single blip where the most amazing people on there talk to you and push you and keep you going. I think I would have failed numerous times if it hadn't been for those people. So my opening is a special thank you to all the people on there...you are one in a million.
Today, having had a crisis in confidence and motivation last week, I am cautiously optimistic that I am back on track again. Saturday I relaxed. I woke up late and actually stayed in bed until midday and I never do that. I wasn't asleep all that time, but I did simply relax and read and talk and drank tea. I ate whatever I ate and drank whatever I drank and didn't think once about weight or health. I simply wanted a break. I had a lovely day doing nothing and not noticing time zooming past like a shooting star in the daylight hours. By the time I went to bed I was happy and ready.
Sunday was the day that I was going to start again but, after waking up late and feeling my muscles still aching, I decided to simply have another day off. I didn't eat or drink too much, I simply relaxed again and, although we cleaned the house from top to bottom, I did very little walking and a lot of reading. I watched some television, did some reading up on healthy living and generally did nothing very strenuous. So by the time I was ready to go to bed, I was itching for tomorrow to arrive. I was bursting with energy once more, my mind was awash with things I wanted to do. I couldn't wait to get started on another Team Body Project video and get my heart rate up and get back on track.
However, as soon as I got into bed something happened which I always dread. My eyes were closing, my body was relaxed and as soon as I placed my head on the pillow my eyes shot open and my mind was racing with ideas and things I wanted to do. Gone was the exhaustion of a few seconds before and, in it's place, was a restless night's sleep where, having finally managed to drop off (the last time I looked at the clock was around 2.40am) I continued sporadically waking throughout the rest of the night. So disrupted was my sleep that in the morning, when I usually get up, I pressed snooze and went back to bed for an extra hour and a half's sleep. I did feel better for it when I finally crawled out of bed and I am going to do the video at some point today...I simply changed the time.
I am, therefore, cautiously optimistic about my state of mind and my drive being back into full swing. Although I haven't really done any videos today, I have (as of 5.24pm) done almost 10,000 steps and am going for a walk after my dinner. Plus I have the video to do and also my calories so far (including the dinner I haven't eaten yet - roast chicken) are underneath my daily allowance and I intend to make sure that I am up to my limit so I am not allowing my muscles to go undernourished so that I burn out again.
Having had what I would deem a burn out, I have had a to look at why I did burn out over those last two weeks. I was doing nothing different to the things I normally do, or at least I thought I was not doing anything different. However, when I looked through MyFitnessPal I noticed a worrying trend in the few weeks leading up to my burn out. I never, ever reached my allotted calories for the day. Instead I was 100 calories here, a few hundred there and these were all adding up, especially with the amount of work I was doing and the exercises and then walking and then house work and the stress of going back to work and making sure I was strong...it all takes it's toll. Additionally there was the added lack of sleep because of the hot weather. I knew I was getting very little sleep, but I didn't actually know how little I was getting until I finally opened my Samsung Health app - which told me my nightly average sleep patterns were about 2 - 3 hours a night; the rest was just a fitful slumber.
So what now? Really simply, I learn from my mistakes and watch myself. I am not young enough to burn the candle at both ends and anymore so I need my rest and I need to make sure I eat the whole of the calories allotted to me and I make sure I don't overdo the exercises. I am supposed to be trying to live a healthier lifestyle and, if I'm not mistaken, healthier lifestyles are not supposed to kill you! I have to look after my body as well as lose the weight, and if that means using it a little slower, then so be it. I have time and patience and I can wait. I have all the encouragement and support I could ever need and more from my family at home and my family on Healthunlocked.com, so there is now nothing to stop me. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is a journey, with lots of different paths and lots of things to see and explore along the way.
Now it's time to drive.
Until tomorrow, stay strong and stay safe.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.
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