Well today I started again watching everything I do closely. I thought I was at the point where I could relax a little and continue the way I was, eating healthier and exercising. Then Saturday happened and I needed to know where I was going wrong in order to gain weight rather than lose it, which is what I thought I was doing. Therefore I have watched everything I have eaten and drunk and taken note of the calories taken in and the calories expended on my app 'myfitnesspal'. This is what I found.
Firstly I am happy that, again, I raised myself from my slumber at a ridiculously early 7am. It never used to be ridiculously early, but I feel it is now and it is hard, when you are normally now having a lie in every day. It's even harder when your sleep has been disturbed because, since the lockdown, I have found it hard to sleep. So I did 30 minutes of cardio and raised my heart rate and got a nice sweat on. All low impact stuff because my joints can't handle high impact anymore, even though I am only 47.
Throughout the day I have also been solidly micro-managing my food intake, watching and noting everything I have eaten. This has been the biggest wake up call as, at the end of the day and reflecting on what I have eaten, I can understand how I managed to put on the two pounds since the previous week and to have only lost 9lbs since I started this. Let me explain.
Over the last week I have done 30 minutes of cardio every day and then eaten and drunk freely. I already knew that I had eaten and drunk far too much to lose weight but was possibly still in denial right up until I stood on the scales. Don't get me wrong, I'm not massively upset about 2lbs, but the realisation that I had put on weight when I thought I had lost really made me understand that I was kidding myself - and that I had wandered from the path I wanted to be on: I needed to get back on it.
For my weight and size, myfitnesspal calculated that I needed a daily intake of 1680 calories in order to lose 2lbs a week. So looking at my food intake today, I have had fruit and a yoghurt for breakfast (203 calories), followed by toast and butter mid-morning (194 calories - yeah, I know!). For lunch I had a very tasty mackerel and coleslaw salad with a packet of ready salted crisps (total 432 calories). For dinner, I had saag masala curry with salad and mushrooms, popadoms and naan bread (total 863 calories). Altogether I have eaten 1692 calories, so I was a little over without any real snacks or chocolate or alcohol, but that was ok.
The emotional cost of today has varied. The psychological impact of knowing I cannot have certain foods because I really want to start strong (as I know my motivation will wane and I will have unhealthy foods at some point) was hard. Consistently throughout the day I have been wanting a chocolate bar and an ice cream and a beer...but I haven't. It has been hard though. Anyone reading my blog regularly will know that I am an advocate of moderation and not denying myself anything because that is a sure way to demotivation and a yoyo diet and this isn't what I want. Because of this, I should point out that I am sticking to a strict regime this week only to see what progress I could make if I really went at it. I won't continue this way as it isn't beneficial long term and I want this to be something I continue for ever. It's a healthier lifestyle I want, not a yoyo diet. But I digress.
I went through a lot of ups and downs throughout the day and now, at the end of the day, I am fine again. I have recognised the feelings of desire for food and have managed to (having reread blog number one) fond ways of managing those feelings. I have made sure that I constantly talk to myself about my feelings, trying to figure out whether I am actually hungry or whether it is because I normally eat something at that time, or that I associate certain weather conditions with having a beer...and it has helped. It has also helped to talk to my wife, who is going through a similar journey herself, so we were able to discuss our feelings and find ways to help each other through them. Having that support is a big help.
Physically, I have felt more energised today and have, as I said earlier, done 30 minutes of cardio and have also taken the dog out for three walks, helping me to also bank 15,989 steps. According to myfitnesspal this means I have an extra 944 calories that I can have, if I want, and still lose weight. But this will be something that I will use next week when I am back to moderation. For this week that simply means more calories that I can bag and use to help me lose weight. I also feel more awake and alert than I normally do, so hopefully this will continue. I remember this feeling when I first started so hopefully this will help my motivation as this week and the rest of the year goes on.
Altogether I am enjoying the strict regimen I have set so far...but I have to remember that this is only day 1 of 7, so I have to be aware that this feeling will not last and I have to take account of that and be prepared for it. I also have to take into account that, during lockdown, I cannot as much as I would normally, as I am not in work and I cannot go to the gym, and I have to account for this when I go back to moderation next week. Losing my stomach fat is going to help me in the long term and will reduce a number of health risks, so I also have to focus on this too...in addition to the fact that I will look better and feel better about myself.
So there it is, day one of a strict regime of eating and exercising for 7 days. Back to a HEALTHY normal next week. I need this burst of speed to get me back on track.
Finally, the things I am grateful for today. I am grateful for the motivation to go forward again and restart, and the realisation that going backwards doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel. I am also grateful for myfitnesspal, which has helped me to see how much I have been eating and take stock of what I should be doing to help me to a healthier lifestyle. Lastly, I am grateful for the support and communication from my wife, my friends and the people who read my blog and talk to me on healthunlocked.com without whom I would have stopped a long time ago. Thank you for your endless support.
Therefore, until tomorrow, stay strong and stay safe.
Thanks for reading.
Sean.